I felt like I was beyond repair; I needed to acknowledge that I had a problem, and that I couldn’t fix it on my own. I tried many times, but the compulsion to control certain things—brought on by unresolved pain from the past—overtook me.
I felt lost, and broken to the core, but knew that I needed to address this problem. It was in Connecticut, looking for a new home, that I came to this realization.
One particular home, built around the 1900’s, had a bathtub that struck my heart in an unforgettable way. It was mostly black inside, with some specks of pink and white tint that must have been the original colors of the tub; it had obviously been repainted a few times.
As I stared at it, it looked as if there had been a massive fire within it, which had stripped away all the remnants of the beauty of its original design.
It didn’t seem like restoration was possible for it. It looked too far gone.
In my pain, I couldn’t help but feel like I resembled that tub. It felt like my inevitable fate: that I was beyond repair and that I couldn’t be restored. I didn’t see any remnants of beauty within myself either anymore, and felt completely shattered.
Have you ever felt like you had a problem that placed you beyond repair?
In 1 Peter 5:10 (NIV), we read: “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”
As I opened up my heart to God, admitting that I had a compulsion to control and that I needed his help, he then was able to start rebuilding me.
He was restoring me, by allowing me to again place my trust in that which I had first placed my hope: my salvation in him. When I thought about what he did on the cross for me it allowed me to remember that nothing was impossible for him. With this revelation, which brought about the hope I needed, I was able to take the first step in seeking healing.
Jesus was leading me to open up—to share with others who I felt safe with—to deal with the unresolved pain from the past that led me to my problem. I needed to deal with my hurts from the past in order to be free and restored.
As I journeyed to these difficult places with others and felt the discomfort, he was with me in my suffering in a new, profound way that I had never experienced before. His nearness and whispers of encouragement from a safe and trusted community allowed me to walk in the freedom I needed to let go of my compulsion.
Jesus allowed me to see his perspective: of how he was with me in those painful moments in the past, and how his goodness was in the hurt, too.
Our salvation is not just a one time invitation. We are invited each and every day to bask in the glory and power of it. Realizing this allowed me to see that I was not beyond repair. The power of our salvation can revive us over and over again.
Our salvation is something that we should rejoice in every day; we should fixate on its power constantly in our lives. We should stand firm, knowing that nothing that could happen to us can change what his power and love are able to do for our lives—opening the door to restoration from our hurts and problems.
If you have a problem that feels too difficult to fix, then think again. The power of salvation through Jesus Christ can bring us through any problem.
His power and presence in our lives is no match for any trouble. His power to transform us leads to deep restoration beyond anything that you have ever experienced. It brings you to a place of complete restoration, which is beyond comprehension, and beyond anything you could achieve by any means on your own.
Remember the power of your salvation, and of his grace. Stand strong in his power. Restoration with God is possible.
Hi, I'm Nikki
My goal is to help and equip Christian women like you to live for Jesus by following Matthew 22:37-39: to love God, to love yourself, and to love others.