Grief: recognizing that you don’t have to bear it alone

Grief: recognizing that you don’t have to bear it alone

In loss, there you will find grief. It can come on suddenly when we acknowledge what we have lost. 

Grief can bring us to a place of great despair. It’s hard to know what to do. 

I was deeply stricken by grief as I came to terms with the losses I experienced from my childhood, and I didn’t know how to handle it.  

I had hopes and dreams of a life that would never happen for me.

My heart struggled to know what to do with the grief; it felt too hard to bear. The thoughts, feelings and tears… the pain in the sorrow at times was incomprehensible, yet undeniable. I felt numb.

We can’t ignore our grief. At some point, we have to deal with it. How can we come to terms with our grief from loss? 

As I struggled to know how to handle my grief, I learned the power and significance of leaning on Jesus. He had experienced great, unspeakable grief beyond anything we could imagine. 

In Isaiah 53:6 (NIV) we read “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

Jesus, as he took our place on the cross, took on every sin imaginable for us: past and present. We didn’t deserve it—or do anything to warrant this gift—yet he chose to do it. 

The cost was great for him. Those minutes separated from the Father were excruciating for him. He knew no sin, but in an instant had to bear the sins of the world on his shoulders. It’s a grief we will never experience. A sorrow unbearable to man. 

It’s only in knowing that Jesus is with you that you can handle it; knowing that he has been through grief, and that you are not alone.

Sin is horrific—and it pains Jesus—yet he decided to willingly, without anything in return, take it on. For the sake of the great love he has for us. The anguish pierced his body. It was agonizing for him, yet he accepted it. 

As I accepted the losses from my childhood, the grief felt so heavy. It was constant and monopolized my thoughts. The pain was so apparent and felt unshakeable until I understood the grief Jesus endured. After that, I felt Jesus could understand me and I brought him into my grief. He could understand my losses and pain. I felt his tangible presence in a time when I felt so alone and lost. He wept with me.

Jesus understands more than you can imagine.

He wants to walk beside you in your grief. It’s only in knowing that Jesus is with you that you can handle it; knowing that he has been through grief, and that you are not alone. 

Take him along on your grief journey. I did, and it was how I am now on the other side.

Now and then, the grief will return… but now I know I am not alone. I am seen and understood, and so are you. 

These things that happened to us that have caused us pain and hurt may not be our fault. It may feel unfair. You may ask yourself: why me? I didn’t deserve that. 

We all will experience hurt and pain, but when we accept it and walk through the grieving process, we can see Jesus’ love for us as he walks with us. The losses are great, but the gains will be greater when we walk with Jesus in our grief to experience the depths of his love.

Are you grieving a loss right now? Whatever it may be, big or small, know that Jesus wants to grieve with you, as you accept your hurt and pain and know you are not alone… but loved.

  • Is there a loss that you need to process with Jesus?
  • How are you letting Jesus grieve with you in your pain?

 

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19 Comments

  1. Kaitlyn Fiedler on March 25, 2021 at 5:04 AM

    Beautifully written. I can relate to this so much!!

    • Nikki Evanson on March 28, 2021 at 11:21 AM

      Thank you so much, Kaitlyn! I’m thankful that God meets us in our grief.

  2. Rochelle Bauer on March 25, 2021 at 7:48 AM

    Grief can be so complex at times and hit you when you least expect it. I’m coming up on the anniversary of our son’s passing…and the grief comes right back again (well, it never really leaves me). I guess I should say it comes to the forefront when I face the anniversary. It can be difficult to navigate at times, but God always helps me! Thank you for this timely message.

    • Debby Osa on March 25, 2021 at 1:00 PM

      (((Hugs)))

    • Nikki Evanson on March 28, 2021 at 11:24 AM

      Rochelle, thank you so much for sharing. I’m glad that this message met you at a time that was needed. I know God will continue to meet you in your grief. I’m praying for you.

  3. Kara on March 25, 2021 at 11:44 AM

    Nikki, thank you for sharing this. I also have many griefs from my youth that I’ve had to work through. Jesus is such an amazing healer! And our best friend 🧡

    Kara
    Amidstthebroken.com

    • Nikki Evanson on March 28, 2021 at 12:26 PM

      Thanks so much, Kara. Thank you for sharing, and yes he is the great healer and our best friend. So thankful that he meets us in our grief.

  4. Debby Osa on March 25, 2021 at 1:02 PM

    In such times, lean HARD on Jesus.

    Beautiful.

    • Nikki Evanson on March 28, 2021 at 12:27 PM

      Thanks so much, Debby! And, Amen! Thankful that we can always lean on him.

  5. Carla on March 25, 2021 at 4:42 PM

    What a powerful post! Thank you for sharing. What love Jesus demonstrated for us and grief He endured. “He wants to walk beside you in your grief. It’s only in knowing that Jesus is with you that you can handle it; knowing that he has been through grief, and that you are not alone.” – so true!

    • Nikki Evanson on March 28, 2021 at 12:29 PM

      Thank you so much, Carla! Yes, I’m so thankful for his great love and how he endured great grief for us.

  6. Susan on March 25, 2021 at 5:58 PM

    Beautifully written and such an encouragement for those walking through grief. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Shelley Singh on March 26, 2021 at 7:58 AM

    Insightful and comforting

  8. Lauren on March 31, 2021 at 1:07 PM

    I find myself writing about grief and sorrow often as well. I’m intrigued by the tension we experience as Christians, that this world is broken and we will inevitably have sorrow, but that we also have true and lasting hope and joy in Christ. Thank you for sharing this beautiful reminder!

    • Nikki Evanson on March 31, 2021 at 8:58 PM

      Thank you so much Lauren! yes we have sorrow but thankful for the lasting hope and joy in Christ too. thank you so much for sharing!

  9. Marta Helsmoortel on March 31, 2021 at 1:08 PM

    So good Nikki. Thank you for being faithful to what God calls you to do and blessing us with these beautiful words of truth.
    I need to hear them right now.

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Nikki Evanson

Hi, I'm Nikki

My goal is to help and equip Christian women like you to live for Jesus by following Matthew 22:37-39: to love God, to love yourself, and to love others.

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