When situations in life change—becoming a new mom, moving, or saying goodbye to a loved one—you can sometimes find yourself with no friends. No one to turn to, to share your heart with, or carry your pain and burdens with. It can feel so lonely.
Through those seasons, your heart’s desire to have godly friendships can lead you to learn so much. To treasure, and be grateful for, these friendships when they do come; and how to be a good, godly friend yourself when others need one. Making new Christian friends is possible again, too.
What Does the Bible Say About Friendships?
First, you should always want to have a biblical perspective on all things—seeing things the ways God does—so you can be more grateful and be a good steward of the gifts he has given you.
Godly friendships are one of these gifts he wants you to embrace and bask in. Friends are a gift from God and you can see this throughout the Bible in many scriptures that make reference to good Christian friends as being helpful to us.
Bible Verses About Being a Good Friend
Below you will find characteristics of a godly friend through scripture that demonstrate why you need them in each season.
- When you need a hand, good Christian friends will help.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NIV)
- Godly friendships can provide guidance in times of trouble.
“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” (Proverbs 27:9, NLT)
- Good Christian friends choose to love you at all times.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV)
- Having someone to share plans with helps you walk more with God and be a better follower of him.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17, NLT)
Examples of Friendship in the Bible
It is also important to study godly friendship in the Bible. These examples not only show us the value of making godly friendships, but also how we should never take good, true friends for granted. They demonstrate the qualities of godly friendships and how we can recognize them for ourselves.
We see this in the Bible through stories like that of Jonathan and David, whose friendship was so precious that they didn’t want to live without one another.
1. Jonathan and David
Jonathan and David had a friendship that was astonishing, because it exemplified how Jesus calls us to be friends to others: lying down our lives as he did. (John 15:13)
Jonathan forsook his birthright of the throne to protect David. He loved him as much as he did himself.
“And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” (1 Samuel 18:3, NIV)
This friendship saved David’s life and allowed him to be who God called him to be—by growing both their characters to focus on the other. Godly friendships do that.
2. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were friends who show us how sticking together can help us stand strong in God during difficult times.
The Bible describes a trial that they went through together: they were thrown into a fiery furnace to die for not worshiping an idol as the king commanded.
God brought them through it alive, completely untouched and harmed. Friends are a gift from God that can help us stand, unmoved, in God when things can be too hard to face alone.
Building Godly Friendships
Now that you know why you need godly friendships, it’s important to learn how to make them when seasons change or difficult things happen in your life.
Building godly friendships will require a sacrifice on your part, and it won’t always feel comfortable, but it’s worth it. The benefits of true Christian friends outweigh the sacrifices.
These three initiatives on your part will help you make godly friends and keep them:
1. Being Available for Godly Friendships
It’s important when you are looking to make true friends that you are completely available to give of yourself and receive from God. This starts with a humble heart, and one that is open to what he wants to do in you and through you.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” (1 Peter 5:6, NIV)
Practically, be prayerful and just be available wherever you are to talk to people. Don’t limit what God can do when you have the right heart posture.
Go to church gatherings and join a small group, too. Sometimes this won’t look the way you think it should, so it’s important to pray for godly friendships and then surrender your desire to God by lying down all your expectations to him.
A heart that is available for others is a heart that serves God well.
2. Be Open to Godly Friendships
You need to be open with others about who you are, and share your story. This can encourage them and gives glory to God for how he moved in your life.
“It is my pleasure to tell you about the miraculous signs and wonders that the Most High God has performed for me.” (Daniel 4:2, NIV)
It will allow God to use you and show others that you would be a good, godly friend that they need in their life.
Don’t be closed off. It can be hard to open up to others; you shouldn’t do it outright when you meet someone but give them a little bit about who you are to see if you have the same interests.
Maybe in a conversation you both find that you share struggles, or are looking to have accountability while reading the Bible. This can be a good start to a supportive friendship.
It starts with being open. What you have been through can help so many. Be who God made you to be, and share what he has done for you.
3. Keep Persevering for Godly Friendships
It’s not easy making new godly friendships; after some time you might want to give up. But God’s word encourages us to keep persevering.
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24, NIV)
There are times when maybe you got someone’s number and you tried texting them and it just didn’t work out. Maybe schedules didn’t match to get together, etc. But it’s important to not give up and keep trying.
Keep praying for the right godly friendships, and trust. Keep opening up; putting yourself out there by going to events at your church or talking to people. You never know who is a Christian and who is praying for the same thing too.
God wants to answer the desires of your heart. Friends might look different than you expected—the Christian women and the timing—but you have to keep trying. You are needed and are a great, godly friend.
Godly friendships are a gift—we see that in the Bible. You can make them by being available, being open and by persevering. New Christian friendships are waiting for you. You can do it.
Hi, I'm Nikki
My goal is to help and equip Christian women like you to live for Jesus by following Matthew 22:37-39: to love God, to love yourself, and to love others.