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Don’t blame yourself

Don’t blame yourself

Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong? Or think what happened is always your fault? 

I have a tendency to do this. 

“I hate myself,” “I really blew it this time,” and “nobody likes me” are common phrases that can saturate my mind in these times. 

I question whether the outcome would have changed if I had said or done something differently. 

I put all the blame on myself, and self-shame myself. 

Not only am I hurt now from the circumstances that occurred, but I have also put myself in a situation to cause long-term self damage. 

I’m damaging my self esteem and making myself feel so low that I can’t even pick myself up to put the shattered pieces together. 

Do you do this to yourself? 

This toxic behavior is a cycle that needs to stop. It blemishes the way you see yourself and skews the truth of who you are, as well as how wonderfully God made you.

As you see yourself the way God does then you can walk in the ways he has made you and love the way he made you.

Together we can look at David, a Biblical figure who had many flaws and suffered through trials but decided with an open, vulnerable, honest heart to share his hurts and feelings with the Lord for vindication. 

David made many mistakes… and others caused him great hurt and harm as well. Yet, in the book of Psalms we read his praises to the Lord. We read words affirming the power and greatness of God. 

He makes reference to the attributes of God’s character. David goes to God with it all: with raw emotions of hurt and pain. 

He shows us how we are to go to God in it all, instead of berating ourselves in our minds. David goes on in the book of Psalms to express how much God marvels at how he made us, indicating that we are to praise him for how we are made, not put ourselves down. 

Psalm 139:14 (NIV) says: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” 

God loves you, cherishes everything about you, and doesn’t want you to destroy yourself. As you see yourself the way God does then you can walk in the ways he has made you and love the way he made you.

Who you are is unique.

God designed you in a particular way. When you reject this image of yourself then you can’t embrace the life and love he has for you. 

Repentance is needed when we talk down to ourselves, because he cherishes all his creation and you are a part of that. 

Love yourself inwardly and outwardly as God made you. See yourself the way he sees you. 

see yourself the way he sees you; don't blame yourself

Change your perspective to go to God in these hurt moments and not inwardly blame yourself.

In no way are we to blame ourselves, put ourselves down, or condemn ourselves when things don’t go as planned. 

We are to go to God, as David demonstrated, and praise him for who we are and what he can do in those circumstances. 

Go to God in it all—with your raw emotions—and don’t condemn yourself. He loves you so much for how he made you. 


  • Pray like David: Praise God, pour your heart out to God with your raw, unprocessed thoughts and emotions 
  • Focus on verses about how God sees you to renew your mind in how you should see yourself. Here are some more verses you can focus/meditate on:
    • Luke 12:7 (NIV): Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
      He knows and loves everything about you.
    • Ephesians 2:10 (NIV): For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
      He has greatness set aside for you. 
    • Isaiah 64:8 (NIV): Yet you, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
      God crafted you in a unique and beautiful way. 
    • Isaiah 54:10 (NIV): “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
      God’s love for you is continuous. It will never fail you.  
    • 1 John 3:1 (NIV): See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
      God loves you so much that he adopted you into his family. You are his adored, beloved child. Nothing can change that when you know him and accept him.

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8 Responses

  1. My dear friend, I needed this today. Thank you for reminding us that we are loved and treasured by our loving father God!

    1. Marianne, thanks so much for sharing. I am so glad that this spoke to your heart at a needed time. yes, I am so thankful for his great love for us always. Thank you so much dear friend!

  2. It was like you read the book of my life! I am the exact same way, I have finally started seeing myself the way God does and not allow myself to blame myself for everything anymore. So beautiful, thank you for sharing your heart.

  3. This is so important. I often tell people “be gentle with yourself” and this epitomizes it perfectly. Thanks for posting. I just tweeted because more people ned to hear this.

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Nikki Evanson

Hi, I'm Nikki

My goal is to help and equip Christian women like you to live for Jesus by following Matthew 22:37-39: to love God and love people, and within this we need to learn how to love ourselves as God does.

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